I. Ego and Playing Your Own Game
Two equations:
Happiness = Reality - Expectations. But your expectations and sense of what you deserve out of life is set by your ego, so it’s ego that saps your happiness.
Savings = Income - Ego, so ego saps your financial independence in the long-run.
It’s easy to go on Autopilot and have your expectations for what you deserve set by looking around at others, but the danger is that you get wrapped up into playing other people’s games. Since moving to San Francisco I’ve met founders in their 20s worth 8 figures and I’ve had dinner with literal billionaires. They can buy sports cars and fly private jets to exclusive resorts that I wouldn’t ever buy (at least in the near term future). But when I think about what I really want my life to look like decades from now, it’s the following: strong social relationships, companionate (if not consummate!) love with my wife, kids that I’ve raised well, strong physical and emotional health, a sense of purpose, staying mentally engaged and active, being content in my spirituality, and financial independence. Chasing billionaire status isn’t the game I’m trying to play; none of what I listed requires grinding 100 hour weeks in the pursuit of money. Even in the short term, what I want from work is (1) to work alongside people with whom there’s mutual respect, (2) a sense of purpose / fulfillment, and (3) maybe even some passion or excitement in what I’m working on.
II. Stress
A realization in two parts: (1) Basically anyone, at any point in time, can complain about work: you’re not getting paid enough, you don’t like your boss, your coworker is incompetent, you’re working too much, office politics are a drag, the good snacks get taken, etc. (2) The ability to distinguish between complaints focused on actually important, big picture topics vs. minutiae is super important to being happy at work.
After the realization, I found this podcast episode. I highly recommend you give it a listen.
III. Articulacy
Two questions to ask, inspired by a Morgan Housel podcast episode: “Whose views do I downplay because they’re not articulate?” and its flipside: “Whom do I give more credence to, because they’re articulate?” I know I don’t have a clear answer to the first. I know Morgan Housel is an answer for the second.